NAVIGATION

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I’m a storyteller at heart. But without God, I would have no stories to share. No tales of deeds dared, or obstacles overcome, or dragons slain. I am not an adventurer. I am a thinker. A stayer. My daily pace of life might make a sloth look like a sprinter.  I don’t seek out the thrill of the experience. Adrenaline doesn’t sit well in my body.

But I’ve learned to say yes to God, and together we have accomplished valiant feats.

In December 2018, my husband and I decided to adopt a child. A journey of faith for anyone who dares to make the trip. But it was an especially difficult decision for Jason and me only six months after losing our eleven-year-old son.

Our fourth child was also brought to our family through a faithful yes to God and adoption. Our dimpled boy lived life with such exuberance—defined by joy and not by his heart condition. He and I battled through trauma after trauma, side by side. Always together. Suddenly he’d been called to his heavenly home four days before his twelfth birthday.

And when God stirred our hearts and again asked us to step out of the boat amidst a mighty storm, we were deeply mourning our lost child amidst a difficult Christmas season.

Fearful of the cost to our fragile hearts, we said yes to the new adventure. A yes, that from a worldly perspective made no sense, but from God’s lofty view, our time of profound sadness and fear and uncertainty was the perfect time to step out on faith.

I struggled through anger and disappointment as, along the way, we were matched with and lost three babies when minds were changed after the babies’ births. And over the next ten months, through tears, discouragement, and pain beyond any I’d ever experienced in birthing our first three children, God carried us toward a great victory. On October 14, I cradled our fifth son in my arms and knew, in part, what Naomi must have felt when her condition changed from “bitter” to “blessed.” (Ruth 1:20-21; Ruth 4:14-17)

I am not a world traveler, a mountain climber, and I avoid muddy puddles. I am a person who can get overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in a Walmart superstore. But my life is riddled with unexpected and wonderful adventures. As my mama once said, the fingerprints of God are all over my life. Not because of who I am. But because of who He is. And when he calls, I’ve learned to answer with a resounding “Yes!”

As long as I’m asked to remain on this earthly plane, I hope that it will always be yes. I wait in eager expectation (and only slight trepidation) to see the rest of the story my Father will write on the pages of my life.

by Chaka Heinze